A Soul Sold: Liliths Truths Told

Days toll on

Nights sullen

Never on my own

Alone all of the time

Should have changed

Importance placed the blame on my name

Faces that surround me

Require the most from me

I see them surround me

I cant hear them

The storm is getting too loud

I feel nothing

Disappointments fueled by animosity

Such a sunny summer day or I think it used to be

My storm is in the way

Stop incoming tragedy

I look up into the faces of my children

I should have been easier on you

Shoulda been easier on me

Middle finger to my 40th birthday

Storm rages

Penning pages

Time passed so quickly

Diamonds fall from mouths speaking to me

Nevermind, I'm sorry those are only atrocities

It was change

I've wanted change so badly

That I fell apart

On the ground picking up my shattered disaster

Adjusted responses

Tweaked my inner Demons

Turned um into Monsters

Bent them

Forcing them around pain

It's suffocating in here

Storming inside me

Beating me

Annihilating my sensitivity

Beatiful misery

Beating the fuck outta me

Submission

I gave no permission

Rupture

Tough until tender

Hard but so gentle

Momentum increasing

Time decreasing

Can you hear me screaming

I am less than ever forever

Can you feel the energy

Flooding now, it's crazy

The sky is falling down

I am tired

Drained.... draining

Look up, its still raining

Buried underneath the weight of the world

Weight of my family

Buried deep inside of me

In these hands lay horrific plans

In a storm

Castle crumbling

Inflicting pressure pushing at the seams

Pressure grew problems

Color washed outta me

I cannot see

Blindfolded and bloody

Tears crashing around me

Burning Beauty

Contemplating death 

Praying to a God 

I abandoned

Could someone step in

Care for them better than I am 

Storm consuming any peace or happy inside me

Desiring death more than I ever wanted a lover

Freedom, pleasure, desire any fire

Disappeared as the flood became higher

I watched, still attempting to find safety

Replacement me

Painted a pretty smiling face

Jokes on me

Faking happy

Things would never be the same

Everything changed

Pretending

Grave digging 

Life ran over me

Spit on me

Never cared enough about she

We 

Me

Sitting under flood waters

Glad I had sons not daughters

Still we have no fathers

Will to survive blew away

Somewhere on a Florida highway

Let me just fade away

Failed them

Looking for myself, safety, stability

Drowning in indiscretions 

Lightening then thunder

Dreams then wonder

Turning blue

Lay my head down tonight

Praying to see the light

Am I alright

Water is all I know 

Ebb in this Life

On my side

Not time, can't wind down

Do the stars still shine

Moon was a best friend of mine

Gigantic monster inside of me

So very hungry

Don't look in the mirror

Don't say anything good to her 

We

Me

They surround me, they can't see me

Pain took a back seat

Pain is pissed at me

Pain commotion 

Next to pain sits anger

Angers holding a gun

To my head

Safety is not on

They're trying to use the driver all for fun

Shell of who I was and the person I have become

We're in the front seats

Fighting over the wheel

Hurting just to feel

Suffocating possibility

Choking positivity

Screaming, fuck me

Hurt me

It's nothing I'm fine

Don't you see me smiling

Mind tumbling 

Underneath a melodramatic doom

Telling me my end is soon

Better hold on voraciously

Have you had enough baby

My spirit sees

Body seethes

I never loved she

We

Me

My soul sits in silence

Watching them all fight, violent

Emotions running the gauntlets 

Tortured soul

Lava surrounded island

Blood on boil 

What does winning look like

Is it materialistic

Is it sloth

Lust? Pride? Wrath? Envious debauchery?

Don't tempt me

Consuming?

Mind sinking not swimming

Everyone keeps watching me

Screaming at me

Bitch where's the answers

You better find them quickly

Wheres the money, they all need more

Shoving it in replacement mes face

Shutting down, out the door

I just cannot remember

Blacked out a few days before

The car was driving too fast when we crashed

I dont remember much about that

Was the light green

Go the distance

I always loved to speed

What's the course

The path, it's not paved in gold

No witch, red stilettos, nice hard switch or crescendo

No magical destination 

Feels like home but still vacation

I am older

Path growing colder

Tied the boulders to my feet

Defeat and delete

Nothing is the same

What has it been

Dreams and memories 

Keep trying to squeeze in between me and me

Damnations heated front seat

Endless spinning records on repeat

Road or path

Neither last

Paved in broken glass

I don't know how to behave

Anyone care

About the way I feel today

I'm not asking

I don't even care

I don't give a fuck

Embraced the crash

Love the rush

Car is full of water

Drowning 

My fathers daughter

No rose all thorns

Driving as fast as I can

My foots on the gas

Passenger me holds the wheel

Thunder rumbled

I can't feel anything

Haven't in years

Melody kissed tears

Gathered throughout the years

Is it too late

Fighting for survival

Denying all things carnal

Stupid girl

Perspective jaded

Neglected and abandoned

Pushed me down in the burial seat

Dead as dead can be

Enemy Me laughs wildly

She's pretty sexy

Petty

Pain giggles too

Hate touches me inappropriately

Angers steadily ready

Pull the trigger

Passenger me still has the wheel

Stupid girl, this you driving you 

You don't believe in things you can't see

Even when everything says it's true

You're giving up possibilities

Sky is full of darkness

Darkness is inside of me

Am I still real

I can't see anyone in the car but me

Fuck it

Crashed the car

Keep it lit

Couldn't run

Final say

Grabbed my gun

Watched them

The bottom fell

The sky collapsed too

I waited

Closed my eyes

Opened big surprise

Everything went up in flames

Anger dropped the gun

Bullets ripped through pain

Rage wouldn't stop reaching for me

Such a tragedy 

Leading the path to self discovery

Black hole sun

Watching me

Coming undone 

Spirit didn't drowned

Tears spilled from star filled eyes

Soul still sat waiting peacefully

Engine's whines

Car Explodes

Momentous blow

Time bends suddenly

The fall instantly halted

Magic ensued

Sight seen

Starting ascension

Highlighting the journey, no vacation

Voice inside me still begging for burning

At the stake

Feasting upon fruits made from my charred body 

Necromancy

Shoving emotion in my belly

Lies caused me to go blind

Lost sight of sunny skies

Let me lose sight of whys

Humanity release me

I cannot take this place

Faces surrounded me

Those faces don't see

This world confuses me

I'm missing a moment

Cut away shame in shapes of boulders

Tied to my feet

Drowning me

Just medicate me

Face down in apathy

Disconnected deathly desires 

Headed out of this world

Comatose amongst constellations

I Fucked redemption

I mean him

Spit in the face of the sun

Or did he spit on me

What battle

I thought I won

Dancing further into the eternal ether

Fading myself into oblivions theater

Blending monsters creating demons

Bleeding, panic, crushing

Rushing to the car

How do I get home

God says I should of known

Blown away by the debut

Startled with dismay

I fell back, knocked off the path 

My self discovery

Ripped and turned inside out

Plunging into purgatory 

Is this losing

Slammed hard 

Pavement

Depraved sentiment 

I was driving, wasn't

All these faces looked down at me

Smiling "I'm fine you see."

Inside the storm had passed

Dead at last

Better than what I was

What I've become

No body, no one

Know body, know one

Stumbled to my feet

Spraying blood

Quench your thirst 

Red simmering 

Shimmering summer sadness 

Life was left back there somewhere

Walking on broken glass

My pretty ass

Should have worn shoes

Will this road lead to more blue

Out of time

Can't rewind

Can't go slow

Going solo

Fuck that car

Fuck everyone whose making my choices 

Fucked me, myself and some dude who was in it

Was he jaw jacking

What's him name again

Pretty mouth stop talking

Show me what that mouth do

Sucker for a guy who has a sweet tooth, no candy

I guess I'll continue walking

Walking to my wake

I pray the lord my soul to take.

Necrotic Fruit