A Lifetimes Architectural Design

True life I'm a Mom.

Days have come and they have gone. They've grown so tall. I've seemed to grow so small. The days move by more speedily. Time I thought that I'd one day have with them is also very gone. I've lost all the little giggles, hugs, smiles and late night "moms" while they jump in your bed after nightmares.
I missed out.
I fucking missed out while it broke my heart & theirs.
I missed out because I was "too" busy grinding, hustling, hoping for the job that would give new the money to have those irreplaceable moments.
Now. I'll never have them.
I do have the moments where they say things you've taught them back to you. In their deep efforts just to try to help their MOM handle life. I do have the moments when they still hug you and kiss you on thes lips cause you are their mom.
I do have MY BOYS.
I have my boys because I've never stopped fighting, hustling, trying.
I never stopped trying to be the strongest woman in their eyes.

Yes, I missed out on a lot but I've also given them every ounce of my heart, body & soul.
Yes, I missed out but I've also so so so much more I've yet to experience.
Yes, I'm blessed to get these moments coming in our futures.

I'm clearer now. I'm more awake.

I love being a mom. I just wish I was better at it. The best part. I get the chance to be better.

True life I've been a half ass mom but now I'm a whole ass mom ;) and I'm going to make every moment count.... and I will not give up. Ever.....
The hustle, grind and money chase ain't shit .....

TRUE SHIT...I'D RATHER JUST BE A GRAND MOM.

Bittersweet Future Fruits living Architecture